Le' Boeld Boeff Risterantooy

A Ritzy Food
-Dispensing Establishment Operating Since
Earlier This Month

"Hote Quisine For Those With Sofisticated Tastes..."


On Our Menu - The Daily Specials:

Breakfast Items -

     Blackened Olive, Hotdog, Pickle, And Whipped-Cream Omelet, Served On A Towel

     Kettle-Poached Eggs, Topped With Applesauce And Sprinkled With Cayenne Pepper

     Giant High-Fructose Corn Syrup Frosted Flakes In A Cup, Drenched With Vinegar

     One Upright-Toasted Egg (Difficult, But We Have A Toaster That Can Do It!)

Soups And Salads -

     Warm Cream Of Cookie Soup, Garnished With Licorice Drops

     Dixelsyc Fesrh-Velabtege Ahebaplt Suop, Served On A Platter (With Ketchup Swirls)

     Salad Of Aged Lettuce And Tangy Soft Tomatoes, With Limburger Cheese Dressing

     Swizzle-Stick Salad, With A Choice Of Creamed Hot Pepper Or Shaved-Ice Dressings

     Sliced Turnip Salad With Piquant Hobgoblin Pieces And A Creamy Ectoplasm Dressing

Lunch and Dinner Appetizers -

     Deep Fried Water, Served On A Bed Of Fresh Potato Peels

     Dill Pickle On A Stick, Dipped In Caramel

     Popcorn And Canned Corn Patties, Ketchup Soaked, Placed Directly On Your Table

     Chocolate Covered Ice Cubes, Three, Served On A Bed Of Cookie Crumbs

     Toad Broth, With Tender Toll-House Dumplings

     Sand-Rolled Tofu Cubes, Boiled And Served On Birkenstock Sandals

     Soup Of Raw Whole Peas In Milk, Served Lukewarm, With Garlic-Ketchup Croutons

Lunch Main Courses -

     Squid Hash

     Fish And Chimps

     Burger Patty, Steamed, Topped With Marmalade And Served On A Graham Cracker

     Boiled Breaded Fish Balls, Served In A Bowl Of Cool Country-Fresh Milk

     Frog Skirt-Steak Dumplings, Five, In Various Bright Colors

     Heron Salad Sandwiches, Two, With Cold Marshmallow-Seaweed Soup On The Side

     Bacon, Cabbage, And Potato Sandwiches, Two, Served Drowned With Maple Syrup

     Oatmeal And Onion Sub Topped With Aged Limburger Cheese, Heated To Perfection!
          ("Sub" = Submarine - Hoagie - Hero - Grinder - Po' Boy - Torpedo - Spuckie...)

Dinner Main Courses -

     Rat Ratatouie, Made With Ingredients From Our Own Kitchen!

     Colorful Aged Beef, Boiled To Order (Our House Namesake And Specialty)

     Pushed Parboiled Pork, With Pulled Pummeled Potatoes & Pinched Pickled Pineapple

     Honey Bunches Of Goats, Served With Fresh Peas And Pearl Bunions

     Whole Fried Chicken, Standing In Spinach Sauce (Difficult To Prepare, But We Do It!)

     Julienned Vegetarian Moose Antlers, Steamed And Served On A Bed Of Wood Chips

Side Dishes -

     Boiled French Fries, Served On A Bed Of Small Paper Napkins

     Creamy Mashed Potatoes, Decoratively Served In An Open-Weave Basket

     Your Choice Of Flied Rice Or Fried Lice, Also Served In A Basket

     Creamed Corn, Mashed Carrot, And Canned Pea Medley, Served In A Big Waffle Cone

     Kidney Beans, Two Dozen, Served Fresh And Crisp On A Plate

     Three Snow-Cone Vegetables, With A Choice Of Peas, Beets, Okra, Asparagus, Corn

Bread -

     Served With Some Of Our Meals, Carefully Aged For Peak Of Color And Texture

Deserts -

     Anchovy Right Side Up Cake, Served With A Refreshing Cod Liver Oil Sauce

     Twinkie And Jell-O Compote, Boiled To Your Specification

     Apple Brown Baddy, Baked Until Extremely Hard And Crunchy

     Cigarette-Flavored Ice Cream, With Bubble Gum Topping (Dill Slices Optional)

     Eggplant Shortbread, Served Topped With Whipped Lard And A Maraschino Raisin

     Three Boiled Thin-Sliced Pieces Of Buttered Banana, With Fresh Peas On Top

Beverages -

     Two Percent Chocolate Milk, With Your Choice Of Small Or Large Curds

     Breaded Iced Tea, Served With An Onion Slice

     A Tall Glass Of Iced Beef Gravy, With A Grape Jam Swirl On Top

     Kiwi Coke, Boiled For Your Safety And Served Piping Hot

     A Cool Glass Of Chocolate Syrup, Topped With A Zesty Dollop Of Mayonnaise

     Kool-Aid Ice Cubes, Left In A Bowl On Your Table Until Drinkable

     A Broasted Cranapple-Papaya Slushie, Served Soaked Into Your Napkin

     Delicious Chlorinated Tap Water, Served At Room Temperature

Bon Appetite!

Dining Reservations Are Suggested


NOTICE: We are NOT responsible for ANY consequences AT ALL from your having dined at our establishment, so forget about
any attempt to sue us for any ill effects whatsoever that you may suffer or that you may have suffered from sharing or from having
shared our hospitality and/or the output from our kitchen or from any other part of our establishment at this or at any other time.
The Management


- Keep Checking Back - Our Menu Items Occasionally Change -
Suggestions And Comments Are Welcome!

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