Breakfast
Items -
Blackened
Olive, Hotdog, Pickle, And Whipped-Cream Omelet, Served On A Towel
Kettle-Poached Eggs, Topped With Applesauce And Sprinkled With Cayenne
Pepper
Giant High-Fructose Corn Syrup Frosted Flakes In A Cup, Drenched With
Vinegar
One Upright-Toasted Egg (Difficult, But We Have A Toaster That Can Do
It!)
Soups
And Salads -
Warm Cream Of Cookie Soup, Garnished With Licorice Drops
Dixelsyc Fesrh-Velabtege Ahebaplt Suop, Served On A Platter (With Ketchup
Swirls)
Salad Of Aged Lettuce And Tangy Soft Tomatoes, With Limburger Cheese
Dressing
Swizzle-Stick Salad, With A Choice Of Creamed Hot Pepper Or Shaved-Ice
Dressings
Sliced Turnip Salad With Piquant Hobgoblin Pieces And A Creamy Ectoplasm
Dressing
Lunch
and Dinner Appetizers
-
Deep Fried Water, Served On A Bed Of Fresh Potato Peels
Dill Pickle On A Stick, Dipped In Caramel
Popcorn And Canned Corn Patties, Ketchup Soaked, Placed Directly On Your
Table
Chocolate Covered Ice Cubes, Three, Served On A Bed Of Cookie Crumbs
Toad Broth, With Tender Toll-House Dumplings
Sand-Rolled Tofu Cubes, Boiled And Served On Birkenstock Sandals
Soup Of Raw Whole Peas In Milk, Served Lukewarm, With Garlic-Ketchup
Croutons
Lunch
Main
Courses -
Squid Hash
Fish And Chimps
Burger Patty, Steamed, Topped With Marmalade And Served On A Graham Cracker
Boiled Breaded Fish Balls, Served In A Bowl Of Cool Country-Fresh Milk
Frog Skirt-Steak Dumplings, Five, In Various Bright Colors
Heron Salad Sandwiches, Two, With Cold Marshmallow-Seaweed Soup On The
Side
Bacon, Cabbage, And Potato Sandwiches, Two, Served Drowned With Maple
Syrup
Oatmeal And Onion Sub Topped With Aged Limburger Cheese, Heated To
Perfection!
("Sub" = Submarine - Hoagie - Hero - Grinder - Po' Boy -
Torpedo - Spuckie...)
Dinner
Main Courses -
Rat Ratatouie, Made With Ingredients From Our Own Kitchen!
Colorful Aged Beef, Boiled To Order (Our House Namesake And Specialty)
Pushed Parboiled Pork, With Pulled Pummeled Potatoes & Pinched
Pickled Pineapple
Honey Bunches Of Goats, Served With Fresh Peas
And Pearl Bunions
Whole Fried Chicken, Standing In Spinach Sauce (Difficult To Prepare, But We Do It!)
Julienned Vegetarian Moose Antlers, Steamed And Served On A Bed Of Wood
Chips
Side
Dishes -
Boiled French Fries, Served On A Bed Of Small Paper Napkins
Creamy Mashed Potatoes, Decoratively Served In An Open-Weave Basket
Your Choice Of Flied Rice Or Fried Lice, Also Served In A Basket
Creamed Corn, Mashed Carrot, And Canned Pea Medley, Served In A Big Waffle
Cone
Kidney Beans, Two Dozen, Served Fresh And Crisp On A Plate
Three Snow-Cone Vegetables, With A Choice Of Peas, Beets, Okra, Asparagus,
Corn
Bread
-
Served With Some Of Our Meals, Carefully Aged For Peak Of Color And
Texture
Deserts
-
Anchovy Right Side Up Cake, Served With A Refreshing Cod Liver Oil Sauce
Twinkie And Jell-O Compote, Boiled To Your Specification
Apple Brown Baddy, Baked Until Extremely Hard And Crunchy
Cigarette-Flavored Ice Cream, With Bubble Gum Topping (Dill Slices
Optional)
Eggplant Shortbread, Served Topped With Whipped Lard And A Maraschino
Raisin
Three Boiled Thin-Sliced Pieces Of Buttered Banana, With Fresh Peas On
Top
Beverages
-
Two Percent Chocolate Milk, With Your Choice Of Small Or Large Curds
Breaded Iced Tea, Served With An Onion Slice
A Tall Glass Of Iced Beef Gravy, With A Grape Jam Swirl On Top
Kiwi Coke, Boiled For Your Safety And Served Piping Hot
A Cool Glass Of Chocolate Syrup, Topped With A Zesty Dollop Of
Mayonnaise
Kool-Aid Ice Cubes, Left In A Bowl On Your Table Until Drinkable
A Broasted Cranapple-Papaya Slushie, Served Soaked Into Your Napkin
Delicious Chlorinated Tap Water, Served At Room Temperature
Bon
Appetite!
Dining
Reservations
Are Suggested
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